Today, kiss your old life goodbye.
Screamed the bottom-half front page advertisement in today’s Times of India. You don’t find out why till you hit the last page where another advertisement screams:
Presenting the new super-fast Indiatimes mail. The clever mail that lets you shop, play games and do lots more. Log on and change your life.
Pay particular attention to the highlighted message: the clever mail lets you shop, play games, and do a whole bunch of other weird stuff. But, what about good old email?
Wanting to kiss my old life goodbye, I went ahead and signed up for a spanking new Indiatimes address. I enthusiastically logged in only to be greeted by a hideous interface. Indiatimes sure didn’t budget for a couple of usability experts. You wouldn’t wish this interface on your worst enemy.
The welcome email blissfully parrots some nonsense.
Welcome to the all-new Indiatimes Mail!
The most evolved mail ever is now yours. To help you make the most of your mail, here are some highlights of its exceptional features, all designed with you in mind:
The whole www at Just One Click…
You don’t need to go anywhere else once you are here! Ziplets bring the whole World Wide Web into your inbox. Play games, shop or send gifts, look up the Wikipedia, translate your mail into any language, and even find a job from within the comfort of your inbox!
How about calling them Junklets?
Right-click makes it so easy.
No more looking around for buttons. Right-click is the way to go. From marking messages to creating folders, from creating appointments to searching messagesâ€¦ use the right-click of your mouse and make your mailing faster and easier.
Ummm…then why do we have all those buttons still lying around? For the Wikipedia Junklet…ahem…Ziplet, left click is still the way to go. Anyone who uses this interface is sure to get their rights left and their lefts right.
Drucker once said: “The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself.”
Here’s a suggestion to Indiatimes: Why don’t you buy your marketing team a set of Drucker’s books?
The darn thing has been featured in today’s Economic Times as well. Click to read the article. You won’t believe the idea behind the marketing team’s customer segmentation approach:
The new e-mail with its collaborative suite has been tailor made keeping in mind two sets of audiences.
[Customer Segment #1] The evolved netizens â€” the one who has experienced the utility of the internet but has an unmet need of being able to do all that he wants from one source/log-in. This collaborative suite enables the utilization of the internet from one convenient environment.
[Customer Segment #2] The second set comprises the novice (the resurgent numbers coming from the smaller towns) who is able to enjoy the promise of internet â€” communication, information gathering to gaming from a very user friendly and familiar environment.
What a riot!