The Chinese Are Cooking Red Pulao in Mumbai

by Vinaya HS on September 29, 2006

in The Mumbai Blog

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Before we get to the Chinese, let’s quickly run through a fragment of code.

if (you are from South India)
{
    if (you find yourself in Mumbai)
    {
        for (i = 1; i < = Infinity; i++)
        {
            read_aloud ("I will not order Pulao");
        }
    }
}

Especially if you are from Karnataka, rerun the above code fragment with this alternate string: “I will not order Pulao no matter how Pulao-starved I am.” Break this promise at your own risk.

The Pulao out here sucks! Tawa Pulao, That Pulao, This Pulao – you can find a whole gamut of Pulaos on the menu. Eat one spoonful and you go “Eeeeeks! Screeeeech! Yuckkkkk!” Have you ever eaten sweet-to-taste oil-coated Pulao mixed with cubes of paneer and grapes? I have. And I have lived to tell this story. The ultimate insult to Pulao happened today at Hotel ShivSagar (near Juhu beach) where we desperately ordered a plate of Pulao to satisfy three hungry stomachs (Vinayak’s, Vishu’s, and mine). Imagine our shock when the waiter tells us, “Sir, aapko red Pulao milega. Chinese style hain.”

Wow! What’s that my good man? Red Pulao? Chinese? Since when did the Chinese resort to cooking and eating Pulao? And even if they did, why in heaven’s name would they color it red? And why is Hotel ShivSagar employing these red-Pulao making Chinese? My mind is overwhelmed by these questions.

Coming to the topic of Chinese food, I have many a tale to tell from my days in Bangkok at the peak of the Bird Flu epidemic. Let me know if you’re interested in hearing these tales. I can guarantee one thing: you won’t be disappointed.




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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Anoop September 29, 2006 at 3:13 PM

We even eat food which is next to shet..I call it Horse Shet or Donkeys shet..everytime i go to Canteen in our University i feel like Puking big time..I guess this Red chinese pulao is much better than what food i eat here..haha ;)

Arun September 30, 2006 at 8:43 PM

for(;;) would be better ;)

Vinaya HS October 1, 2006 at 6:36 AM

@Anoop: Yaakamma raja?

@Arun: He he…just wanted to ensure that everyone understood what I meant.

Anoop October 1, 2006 at 5:30 PM

Yakamma raja na naanen maadlee..Singapore alli oota hange irodu..adukke naanu weight kammi aagirodu..

Vishu October 7, 2006 at 5:48 PM

reading the article, Vinaya my mind is wandering bac to Shivsagar…dude not for the red pulav..but for the whites..and the rescue plan we had for Vinayak…

Vinaya HS October 10, 2006 at 12:09 PM

Ya man Vishu. The rescue plan, I believe, was for us!

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