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One of my resolutions for 2006 is to learn martial arts – at least some of it. Since my Fitness One membership comes with a complementary month of Aerobics, Yoga, and Martial Arts, I decided to kick-start my resolution today. Today’s class was scheduled to begin at 09:00. I walked-in to find one guy lecturing a cute girl on the after-effects of martial arts during old age. There were just the three of us in today’s class (the others did not turn up). What follows below are excerpts from the class:
|Instructor||:||“Hi. I am Vinayak.”|
|Me||:||“Hi. I am Vinay.”|
|Instructor||:||“Vinay, have you taken any classes before?”|
|Me||:||“Nope. Today’s the first one.”|
|Instructor||:||“Good. Let’s get started.”|
09:00 to 09:15
We were made to run around like crazed nomads. All the while the instructor kept shouting, “One…Two…Three…Overtake…Overtake…” (Each count required us to run in a particular fashion.) I managed to beat the other two (who have been attending classes from three weeks). Hah!
09:15 to 09:30
Stretched my body in ways that would put the Kamasutra to shame. Maybe they should rename the class to “Marital Arts.”
09:30 to 10:15
We were taught “Basic defense techniques,” in the form of taking guard to protect your face etc. The instructor demonstrated how vulnerable a person can be to attacks. This was followed by flexibility (excruciating torture, in my case) exercises. After some time the instructor shouted at me, “This is not a bloody dance class! You have to move your hips. Now repeat after me…” I am too exhausted to even move a finger, let alone my hips. Praying to God to fast-forward the clock to 10:15.
|Instructor||:||“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”|
|Me||:||“Thank You God!”|
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